Hope? Is that what I’m feeling when I look outside at the sunshine, writing this—my last post of the semester? Hope I’ll finish all my assignments this semester; hope I can do them early enough that I don’t have too much stress near deadlines; hope the warm weather stays so I can bike around the city.
But there’s more, too.
I feel anxiety over the fact that I have so much to do and so little time to do it. Semesters, after all, always seem so manageable right up until the point when they start getting out of hand, when all the assignments and readings and outside factors pile up and become something more.
“Semesters, after all, always seem so manageable right up until the point when they start getting out of hand.”
I feel fear this weather won’t stay, that right when I need a break outside, it will turn, the blizzards and the cold weather will be back and the outside will seem just as daunting as the inside. The winter is so long, and while there is always something to love about it, there’s also beauty in spring that I just want to cherish and love but that always seems to be snatched away again by the encroaching cold—cold I cannot be mad at in an era of global warming.
I feel sadness, too, that my classes are ending and that I will not be around my classmates and professors in the same settings and perhaps—because I am a graduate student in a one-year program—in any setting ever again.
These are the last of days, days where everything is coming to a head at once and the relief of handing in a final paper can be offset by the realization that the paper means the end of relationships and discussions that piece together knowledge in ways I can never do on my own.
I feel happiness that soon that I will be freed from the responsibility of taking a full-course load. Of spending so many of my days thinking about so many topics that oftentimes seem just as important and relevant but that can never all be tackled by a single person. Happy, too, that I soon get to experience the longer days and more colourful times of summer, to wonder over all the growth that can happen in such a short time, to question how life and death can occur so quickly together in a single rotation of the earth.
I feel so many things at the end of the winter semester because, with the way our university system is arranged, school can often become life, or if not life at least one of the most pressing parts of it. That means that when school is out, or when full course loads are replaced by smaller ones, life is different.
While I don’t have time to think about whether school should be life, I will sit here—as I finish this post—and take in all my emotions, wondering how many more will arise before the semester ends.
Student Voices is a WOA blog feature that presents the experiences and viewpoints of current Arts students. Through their posts, you’ll experience the creativity and passion of our students as they present glimpses into student life. The views and opinions expressed within these posts are solely those of the authors.